Today is the birthday of the late, great Dr. Seuss (aka Ted Geisel). Millions of school children across Colorado and the rest of the United States will hear one or more of his stories as part of the Read Across America campaign. The nation’s largest teachers union is one of the event’s key sponsors. Hey, the NEA needs to show off its softer side, too — especially when mired in a losing PR battle.

So in the spirit of the day, I decided to reach out to some NEA officials and invite them to become regular readers on my blog. Here is an unofficial transcript of the dialogue*:

Will you read
This blog by Ed?

I will not read it,
Ed-I-said,
I do not like
That blog by Ed.

Would you read it
In a chair?

I would not read it
In a chair.
I would not read it
Anywhere.
I do not like
That blog by Ed,
I will not read it,
Ed-I-said.

Would you read it
With a yokel?
Would you read it
With Van Roekel?

I would not read it
With a yokel.
I would not read it
With Van Roekel.
I would not read it
In a chair.
I would not read it
Anywhere.
I do not like
That blog by Ed,
I will not read it,
Ed-I-said.

Would you click it
With Bob Chanin?
Would you click it
While it’s rainin’?

Not with Bob Chanin.
Not while it’s rainin’.
Not with a yokel.
Not with Van Roekel.
I would not click it in a chair.
I would not click it anywhere.
I would not click that blog by Ed.
I do not like it, Ed-I-said.

Would you? Could you?
On your phone?
Read it! Read it!
You’re alone.

I would not,
Could not,
On my phone.

You may like it.
Dare I mention?
You may like it
For a pension?

I would not, could not, for a pension.
Not on my phone! You let me be.

I do not like it with Bob Chanin.
I do not like it while it’s rainin’.
I do not like it with a yokel.
I do not like it with Van Roekel.
I do not like it in a chair.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like that blog by Ed.
I do not like it, Ed-I-said!

A bike! A bike!
A bike! A bike!
Could you, would you
On a bike?

Not on a bike! Not for a pension!
Not on my phone! Ed, let me be!

I would not, could not with Bob Chanin.
I could not, would not while it’s rainin’.
I will not click it with a yokel.
I will not click it with Van Roekel.
I will not click it in a chair.
I will not click it anywhere.
I do not like it, Ed-I-said!

Say!
At a school?
Here in a school!
Would you, could you, in a school?

I would not, could not
In a school.

Would you, could you
While on strike?

I would not, could not, while on strike.
Not in a school. Not on a bike.
Not on my phone. Not for a pension.
I do not like it, Ed, so pay attention!
Not with a yokel. Not with Bob Chanin.
Not with Van Roekel. Not while it’s rainin’.
I will not read it in a chair.
I do not like it anywhere!

You do not like
This blog by Ed?

I do not like it,
Ed-I-said….

*For the record, no actual contact with NEA occurred, and the above poetic homage to Dr. Seuss is entirely the result of my overactive 5-year-old imagination

Okay, okay, you get the idea. I’m having too much fun here… 🙂

On a sadder note, another legendary children’s author — Jan Berenstain — recently passed away at the age of 88. Which leads me to another thought: Who will end up as the great children’s authors of our time? Might I cast a vote for the author of The Hiccupotamus?